We've all done regrettable things in the past. It's scarily easy to fall into a repetitive circle of regretting something so much that it is all you think about.
"Why did I do that?"
"What was I thinking?"
"Knowing that I was capable of doing something like that makes me hate myself"
I'm not writing a blog post thinking that I have the power to give you a secret ingredient which stops you over-thinking. Or to give you a get out of jail free card. I do think though, that perhaps this could help you see things a little differently.
Yes, you fucked up. Probably quite hard if it is all you can think about. But that's all part of the solution. You know that you fucked up. You have a guilty conscious. You are aware of your past behaviours which is more than what some people can say. You are not a bad person, but a learning one.
Some people live by having no regrets. Which is a pretty cool way to live. But it isn't always practical. I mean, if you accidentally pushed yourself down a flight of stairs, the chances of you sitting at the bottom of them without any regrets is pretty slim. However, life is way too quick to waste too many days thinking of your regret list. Yes, whatever it is you're dealing with right now did happened and is now part of your life... but learn to appreciate them, as, if they didn't happen, you would still be the stupid person you were back when you did it.
Learn from mistakes because that is why we make them. To get back up and try again. Notice how it made you feel when you made them, notice how they made others feel, and then notice how you can make it so they won't happen again. I believe in you! :)
Love and hugs,